Category: Support

I wrote earlier about “chronicity” and caregiving and titled the post “No One Brings a Casserole”. I wanted to follow up with some ways to help.

What can you do to help a caregiver in a chronic caregiving scenario? How can you help?

Remember that it’s hard for people to ask for help, even when it is needed and/or wanted.

I ran this list past my Facebook friends and the most telling comment was “Wish this had happened for me” referring to a husband’s long time and eventually terminal illness.

So…

• Bring lunch. Seriously, call and offer to bring lunch. Take two hours, pick up lunch, drinks, chips, and a cookie and deliver it. Visit for a bit, then leave.
• Bring breakfast. Seriously, call and offer to bring breakfast. See number 1.
• Bring dinner. Seriously, call and offer to bring dinner. It doesn’t have to be homemade. See number 1.
• Tell them that you have one hour to help. What do they need? Don’t take no for an answer. Just go.
• Empty the trash. Take the trash bags with you so they don’t have to remember to get them to the curb or whatever method is used.
• Take their car for a fill-up.
• Take their car for a wash and interior vacuum. This one is a real treat!
• Check the wipers. Do they need new blades? Go to O’Reilly and get new blades and install them or have the O’Reilly peeps do it.
• Take their car for a lube, oil, filter if it’s time for service.
• Check the tires. Air them up.
• Bring a package of toilet paper/paper towels/tissues.
• Bring a package of coffee or tea.
• Scoop the cat boxes. Make sure there is a full bag of litter.
• Scoop the dog shit in the back yard.
• Make sure the pets have food plus extra. Offer to pick up at store.
• Mow the lawn.
• Sweep the walk.
• Shake the rugs out.
• Do a load of laundry. Make sure they have plenty of detergent and softener.
• Take the whole shebang to the laundry and return it all clean. Wow!
• Check the batteries in the smoke alarms.
• Check for burnt out light bulbs.
• Take their dry cleaning to a quick service and return it.
• Scrub the toilet.
• Take the recycles away.

There are hundreds of little things that you can do to help. Some take 5 minutes, some take more time. Most people can handle the big stuff. The little stuff slips through the cracks. Trust me, the little stuff can break you in a heartbeat.

Feel free to add to this list. What did people do for you in your time of need – immediate crisis or chronic caregiving?